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I’m not going to lie, the one thing I was afraid of most in the entire IVF process was not the emotional aspect of things, not the surgery that is egg retrieval, not the possibility of failure. No, the thing I was afraid of most was the PIO shots. It was the freaking huge needle that was destined for my butt. Seriously, the mere thought of it made me sweat with fear.

As it turns out, PIO is just like everyone says…it’s not as bad as you’d think it is. After the huge debacle that was my first PIO shot, things have been a breeze. I’ve got a system down and it works for me. The shots themselves are not painful and I really haven’t gotten any of the lumps, knots or welts that many women suffer from. I still have minor issues working myself up to actually sticking that mammoth needle in my butt, but it’s short lived.

By far the worst part of PIO for me is having to continue taking the shot every night even after a negative test and knowing that I’m not pregnant. Yes, I tested yesterday and there wasn’t even a hint of a line…not even an evap to tease me into thinking I’m actually pregnant. Nope…just a plain old negative test, just like all of the others that I’ve seen before. So here I am injecting a hormone into myself every night in an attempt to maintain a pregnancy that isn’t even there.

How insane is that? Really. It’s ridiculous.

So I have three more days of PIO shots until my beta, when I will no longer have to continue this charade.

My clinic requires a break cycle in between failed cycles (ugh, I can’t believe we failed!), so we’ll start BCP’s again sometime in February and get to the fun part of a new cycle in March. In the meantime, we’re taking a cruise in February and you can bet that I will be taking full advantage of all of the sugar, dairy and alcohol that I can get my hands on that week.

As disappointed as I feel like I should be, I actually feel ok. Which is slightly disturbing. What the hell is wrong with me? Seriously.


The meds have arrived! I don’t know what it is about reciving my meds that is so exciting, but I thought I was going to explode when my box finally arrived. I wanted to take it home IMMEDIATELY to open it and look at everything.

I was finally able to leave for lunch about an hour later and took these pics.

Here is my HUGE box of meds next to my laptop for reference.

Here are all of the meds and needles spread out for your viewing pleasure.

And here is everything all sorted and put into its respective storage container to avoid confusion.

Finally, here is the top of my progesterone in oil bottle, which I thought was quite funny.

You see, I’m somewhat terrified of doing the intramuscular shots, so to open the box and see those words made me feel as though the PIO was indeed flipping me off. I sincerely hope that those words are not at all indicative of how the PIO shots will go down.

I feel like a crazy woman for even saying this, but I can’t wait to start putting all of those meds in my body! Lupron starts on Tuesday and I cannot wait!

I just called the pharmacy to order my meds and holy crap, I’m so freaking excited! I don’t know what it is about actually ordering the meds that is so thrilling to me, but I can hardly contain myself right now! Maybe it’s just because actually ordering the meds means that this is really real and it’s really going to happen. Our IVF cycle has seemed so far away for so long now that I kind of felt like it was never going to get here and therefore kept my excitement to a minimum.

Anyway, the pharmacy that my office uses is one of those old school pharmacies with a lunch counter and a soda fountain amongst all of the regular pharmacy items. A quick Google search brings up nothing about the drug aspect of the pharmacy, only rave reviews about the ice cream and soda fountain. Since we are from out of state, they are shipping my meds to me so there’s no real reason to visit the pharmacy, but I’m very intrigued now and we might have to make a stop during one of our visits just to check it out!

The pharmacist was very nice and told me that he’ll include with the shipment his business card with his cell phone number on it so that if I need anything after hours I can reach him. How cool is that? The nurse who did our IVF class told us that the pharmacy is just great to work with and always goes the extra mile to make sure that their patients are well cared for. She said that they’ve even had situations in the past where patients were in an emergency situation and needed extra meds or whatever and the pharmacy provided them to the patient and then checked with the clinic later. Because of the distance factor I obviously wouldn’t be able to take advantage of that if the situation were to come up, but it’s so nice to know that the pharmacist would be there to answer my emergency questions if I had any.

I asked the pharmacist what meds the clinic had called in for me and he stated that amongst the suppressing meds, stimulating meds and antibiotics, two trigger shots were included. Curious, I asked if it was Ovidrel and he said yes. He said that two Ovidrel shots are the equivalent of one shot of Novarel, which is the more commonly used intramuscular trigger shot. I was relieved to hear that they had called in Ovidrel for me since I’m still pretty freaked out about doing the IM shots. Doing the Ovidrel means that I won’t have to worry about somehow messing up the IM trigger shot and endangering my ovulation and therefore egg retrieval. Sweet relief. I’ll deal with my IM injection fears another day!

So for now we’re actually rolling along, popping birth control pills and baby aspirin every night. We’ll start our antibiotics in a week and a half, and the Lupron shortly thereafter. Because Mark will be out of town the fourth week of September when we really should be having our egg retrieval, I’m going to stay on the Lupron an extra week to eliminate the conflict. That means that we’ll be pushing everything back a week and makes the entire cycle a bit longer as well, but it means less stress in trying to work around the work commitment, so we’re ok with it.

I’ve printed off a copy of my calendar and keep it in the bathroom. Every night after I take my pills, I make a big black X on the day with my super fat Sharpie marker. It makes me feel like we’re making progress and that we’re one day closer to what we desire so badly and that feels good.

So here’s today’s gripe. A couple of years ago when Chili was just a puppy, I was walking him and Popeye around the block. A few houses down from ours, a little boy came running up to us and just LOVED Chili (who wouldn’t though, right? That dog is freaking adorable!). So I asked him if he had a dog of his own. He said no and his mom came up behind me and said “He doesn’t need a dog, he’s got 5 brothers and sisters to keep him occupied!” Yikes. That’s a lot of children. So a couple of weeks ago, I was driving down the street and I see the same mom crossing the street to pick up a ball one of her kids kicked across the street. She was as big as a house, clearly ready to be popping out another child soon. Yesterday as I was riding home from work, I notice that there are pink balloons all over their yard and a “It’s a girl sign in the front yard. Good lord, the next child has arrived.

I immediately think that this is clearly a very selfish woman. She is hogging all of the fertility on the block, and very obnoxiously so. She’s already got SIX children! What in the world does she need with another one? Share the love woman! Then I thought about the formers owners of our house who told us that the block is known for twins. They had a set, the next-door neighbors have a set, and two houses down there was a set. So what the heck is up with all of the fertility hogs that live on my block?

End of rant.

And because I know that you are super curious as to why Femara sucks, here’s my explanation. Yesterday I had really, really, REALLY bad tension in my shoulders and I had a terrible headache yesterday too. My shoulders were super tight last month around this same time frame, and I also suffered from a really bad headache then too. Of course I should give Femara the benefit of the doubt and say that my sore shoulders could have been from sleeping funny the night before, and that my headache was probably due to the fact that I am really bad at drinking water during the weekend, so I was probably just massively dehydrated, but the coincidence seems too obvious to ignore. Either way, I’m feeling much better today and I’m hoping that this month works for us so that I don’t have to go through this again next month!


Our History

Dec 2006 - Started trying to conceive
Summer 2007 - Semen analysis (great), progesterone test (normal)
Dec 2007 - SHG normal
Jan 2008 - 1st RE appointment
Feb - Mar 2008 - Diagnosed with elevated FSH levels, 2 rounds of IUI with 5mg of Femara
Apr - Jun 2008 - Seeing a new RE. 3 rounds of IUI with 12.5mg of Femara, all busts. HSG normal
July 2008 - Moving on to IVF at a new clinic
Aug/Sep 2008 - 1st IVF cycle - cancelled due to poor response
Nov/Dec 2008 - Retry IVF, transferred one blast and one morula, negative beta
Feb/Mar 2009 - 2nd IVF cycle - Antagonist protocol
May 2009 - 3rd and final attempt at IVF - Antagonist protocol
Feb 18th, 2010 - our One Small Wish comes true: Nina Adele is born.

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