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There is one thing that has become increasingly clear as I’ve struggled with our fertility issues; I am spoiled.  Spoiled rotten.  I’m used to getting what I want, and usually when I want it.

 

Everyone says that youngest kids are spoiled and always get what they want and I guess from my experience, I can’t really disagree.  While I was most certainly not a spoiled brat demanding things from my parents, they did tend to give me most everything I wanted. 

 

  • My parents sent me to a private driving school the summer before I turned 16 because I had just missed the cutoff to get into the class at school (though this was probably a little selfish on their behalf as well because then they wouldn’t have to drive me around anymore). 
  • My parents paid for half of three week long field trip to Europe when I was a junior in high school.
  • My parents paid my tuition, room and board while I was in college.  They even paid for me to spend a semester studying in France.

 

Beyond all of the financial support they have given me throughout the years, my parents have always been there for me emotionally.  Sure, we’ve had our disagreements, but I honestly could not ask for more compassionate, kind and caring parents.  They have always been willing to stop whatever they’re doing at the drop of a hat in order to help me out with whatever was going on with me.  I can’t imagine how different my life would be without their constant support.

 

Even as an adult, without the assistance of my parents, I’ve been pretty spoiled.

 

  • I got every job that I’ve ever interviewed for
  • I got every house that I’ve ever wanted
  • I got the man that I wanted
  • We make enough money that nearly anything we want, we can just go out and buy or do

 

On the whole, I’ve been exceptionally fortunate.  And spoiled. 

 

Except for this one thing.  We can’t manage to have a baby on our own. 

 

The frustration of wanting something so bad, but not being able to get it is beyond anything that I’ve ever experienced before.  And it’s different from everything else that I’ve ever wanted in that there’s no guarantee that I can get it, no matter how much time, money and effort I throw at it.  This is something that I have, quite literally, no control over.  And I’m still struggling to try to figure how to handle it.

 

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Our History

Dec 2006 - Started trying to conceive
Summer 2007 - Semen analysis (great), progesterone test (normal)
Dec 2007 - SHG normal
Jan 2008 - 1st RE appointment
Feb - Mar 2008 - Diagnosed with elevated FSH levels, 2 rounds of IUI with 5mg of Femara
Apr - Jun 2008 - Seeing a new RE. 3 rounds of IUI with 12.5mg of Femara, all busts. HSG normal
July 2008 - Moving on to IVF at a new clinic
Aug/Sep 2008 - 1st IVF cycle - cancelled due to poor response
Nov/Dec 2008 - Retry IVF, transferred one blast and one morula, negative beta
Feb/Mar 2009 - 2nd IVF cycle - Antagonist protocol
May 2009 - 3rd and final attempt at IVF - Antagonist protocol
Feb 18th, 2010 - our One Small Wish comes true: Nina Adele is born.

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