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It’s a subject that nearly every infertility blogger writes about at some point. The reason why is simple: there is no avoiding it.

The positive that has come out of my struggle with fertility is that I have found myself surrounded by an amazing group of women, both on the internet though my buddy group and blog, and in my everyday life, through my real life support group. While all of the women who have been a part of my infertility journey have added something special and unique to the experience, it’s the women in my real life support group who have made the biggest impact on my life.

These are women who have been with me through thick and thin and can relate to the struggles that we’ve endured. We clicked as a group, in a way that I didn’t think was possible for a group of women brought together by one small common link. They were there to provide listening ears, arms for hugs and humor and invaluable laughs when I was down. They were there for me when I felt like there was no hope. There were there when it felt like no one else in the world could possibly understand. They provided hope and they understood. They picked me up when I was down and provided me with something to look forward to every two weeks. They became my friends. I always left our meetings feeling uplifted, refreshed, renewed and with the energy to face our next infertility battle.

And one by one, miracle by miracle, babies were conceived, grew for 9 months and were born. One by one, women realized the dream that they had been wishing for for months and sometimes even years. One by one the number of those still waiting for their miracle slowly decreased.

It seemed crude to compartmentalize the women into “haves” and “have nots,” but in reality there’s no other way to do it. The “haves” still wished and hoped for miracles, but this time for their friends, not themselves. The “have nots” desperately wished that it would be “their turn” next. Eventually the “haves” outnumbered the “have nots.”

Shortly before I became pregnant, I was discussing with one of the two remaining “have nots” how things were different with our group. While I knew that everyone was still rooting for us and I still felt supported, things just weren’t the same. I missed the common thread that we all had: trying to have a baby. We discussed potentially recruiting new members who could provide more of the “still in the thick of it” support. We discussed trying out a different local support group. We discussed meeting as just the three of us. In the end, we didn’t do any of those things. We agreed that our group, as it was in the past, as it was at that very moment, and as it would be in the future, was most important to us. The relationship that we had formed was unlike anything we thought that we could replicate with new members, a different group, or just as the three of us.

Eventually, and seemingly miraculously, I crossed over from the “have nots” to the “haves.” This meant that there we only two women left in our group still trying to become pregnant. Even though I never believed it would be possible, the pain and sorrow of the past two and a half years slowly started to fade away into the background. While I don’t think that I will ever forget how awful that time was for me, I can no longer feel with the same intensity what it was like to go through each and every day wanting and waiting. Unconsciously my heart has moved to a different place, a place that has forgotten the mire of infertility, a place where hope has replaced fear and dread. My heart aches for these women, but I can’t honestly say that my heart aches WITH them.

And that is what makes me feel so guilty. I always thought that if the day came that I was actually pregnant, that I would never forget. How could I? But now here I am. I’m finally on the other side, and everything that I thought would be true just isn’t. I feel like a traitor, like I abandoned my friends. It’s as though I traded what I wanted the most and sacrificed knowing, understanding and having the ability to support my friends who are still trying. And the part that makes me the saddest is that the two who are left are the two who have been trying the longest. One woman for the entirety of her marriage, nearly six years, and the other woman somewhere between four and five years. And both are nearing the end of their rope; ready to give up entirely on having children in any way. Sadly, none of the rest of the women in our group have ever been where these two women are now. Yes, we all dealt with the emotions of infertility, but none of us for as long as these two women, nor were any of us ever at the point of seriously considering a childless life. While I was never able to relate to the length of time that they’d been dealing with infertility, at least I was able to share in their emotions and feel the camaraderie of still being in the depths of infertility together. Now I can’t even provide them with that comfort.

I feel like a failure in that respect. I feel guilty that I have what they want, and even more than that, I feel as though I’m not able to bring them the comfort and support that they brought to me over the past year and a half, and that hurts. Every day it seems more and more apparent to me that the scars of infertility, while seemingly invisible, reach deeper than I could ever imagine.

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Ok, so maybe I was a bit melodramatic with my last post. Really, the pregnancy announcement wasn’t nearly as bad as I had expected it to be. I think that suspecting she was going to announce her pregnancy allowed me to deal with it on my own terms beforehand and I wasn’t at all caught off guard when she told us. It’s like GI Joe said: “knowing is half the battle” and knowing in advance (or thinking I knew at least) really helped to soften the blow. Plus I’m sure the wine helped too.

So when I arrived home Mark asked if there was any news to which I replied “yes.” He asked if she was pregnant and I said “yes.” I decided to take the dogs for a quick walk to the library to return a book and get some fresh air. After I got back, I noticed that there was a new jigsaw puzzle and a bag of jelly beans sitting on the couch waiting for me. My fantastic husband bought them for me during his lunch break since he knew I would probably be upset once I got back from dinner with the girls. As insignificant in cost as these two items were, they were priceless to me as a symbol of how much Mark cares about me and wants me to be happy. The puzzle and jelly beans absolutely made everything better at that moment because it was just another reminder of what a great husband Mark is and how fortunate I am to have him as the father of our children. He is so great, and I am so very lucky to have him.

So fast forward to last night, when I had arranged yet another Girls Night Out at the Melting Pot, this time with my support group. Oh my gosh. I literally cannot remember the last time I had so much fun and laughed so hard. I honestly cannot imagine where I would be without these girls, probably in the depths of despair. The amazing support and understanding that they bring to my life is such a wonderful gift and I am so thankful that I found them. What I find interesting about our little group is that it’s nothing like what I thought it would be, or even what I picture other support groups to be like. When I think of support groups I think of a dark, depressing space and lots of sad discussions, crying and “why me’s?” Our meetings are anything but that. And while there are definitely times when there are tears and questioning, I find that laughing and smiling far outweighs those sad moments.

My support group really is like therapy for me. I always leave in a better mood, with a clearer mindset and a happy heart, and for that I am eternally thankful.


I found out last Wednesday that a friend from my real life support group is pregnant. She had been trying for somewhere around four years and she got pregnant completely naturally. Words cannot express how excited I am for her and how hopeful it makes me feel for everyone who is struggling with infertility.

Obviously there is no guarantee for anyone, but knowing that it can happen even after many years of trying gives me so much hope. You just never know what might happen.

Well here I sit at 7dp5dt and I’m feeling discouraged. It seems as though every woman who does IVF with hormone support in the TWW complains of crazy symptoms that could be attributed to either the hormones or pregnancy. I fully anticipated feeling those same symptoms and wondering if they were pregnancy related, or just the hormones, but I’m disappointed to say that so far I’ve really not felt much of anything at all. I really, really thought that the cycle I got pregnant it would be very obvious to me and I would be beleaguered with all of those symptoms that I’ve never had, but so desperately wish for. So since I had all of these grand plans of obvious symptoms that have thus far not occurred, it makes me feel like this cycle did not work.

Then I remind myself that there are plenty of women who did not have any symptoms at all and are in fact pregnant. Several women in my online support community have told me how they were absolutely certain that they were not pregnant due to lack of symptoms and were completely shocked when their betas came back positive. I really, really hope that I can report back in a few days that I am one of them. I am doing my best to think positively about everything and I know that no matter what happens, everything will be OK.

On a more positive note, one of the women in my real life support group just got a positive beta from her FET cycle on Friday! I am so very, very happy for her and hope to join her on “the other side” soon. Another woman in our group had her beta today too, and I am eagerly anticipating her results also. I’m hoping for a quick string of three BFP’s so we can all enjoy being pregnant together.

My beta is scheduled for the 29th, though I am strongly considering testing either tomorrow or on Christmas. Tomorrow will be 14 days past retrieval, which should be plenty of time to get a BFP if I am pregnant, right? Here’s hoping I see two pretty pink lines soon enough.

Our beautiful Babies

Here are the beautiful embryos that we transferred on Tuesday. Please note that I have no idea what a good blast and a good morula are supposed to look like, and though my RE did not provide us with any kind of grades for them, he told me that they looked “great.” I feel good about that and though it’s entirely possible that he was blowing sunshine up my ass, I’d like to continue to believe that they are great. So, if you’re knowledgeable about what quality embryos are supposed to look like and mine happen to be not be as beautiful as I think they are, PLEASE don’t say anything! I’m quite content just muddling along thinking that we have two really great chances to be pregnant this cycle.

So far the PIO shots have been going well. My first one was kind of a debacle and I’m still not convinced that I did it right. It bled like crazy and left a huge purple and red bruise that is still lingering 6 days later. I’m not quite sure how one small pin prick can leave a bruise about an inch in diameter, with random fingers of color shooting out from the hub of the bruise, but I somehow managed it. I think I may have been doing it too far to the center of my back, versus on the side by my hip. I’ve since switched over to my left side right by my hip and that seems to be going better for me. I sit on my hot pad after I do the shot until I go to bed and then sleep on the hot pad all night long too, and that seems to keep the muscle soreness to a minimum. I think that the oil is starting to accumulate over there on the left side since I’ve done the last 5 shots on that side, so maybe it’s time to switch over to the right side and give the left a rest for a bit.

Oh, and I wanted to follow up on this post about my support group. For the first time since the original “do we have too many pregnant women in our group?” e-mail, we finally had more than four women at our meeting last night. We discussed all of our options as a group and decided that the only choices we really had were to stay with the original group of women regardless of where they are in the whole process, or to split the group based on personal situation and “graduate” women over to a new group once they get pregnant or have a baby. The problem with the second option is that we are a pretty small group to begin with (I would say the most we’ve ever had at one meeting was 8 people), and so splitting by status would leave us with a bunch of really small group (one mommy, two preggos and ~5 still trying) and it’s not really a support group if you’re the only one in it, is it?

Because of this, we decided that we really like our group as it is and don’t want to split it out into multiple groups. We enjoy each other’s company and have grown close to each other since we started meeting nearly a year ago and want to stay together all as one. So the plan is to close the group to new members, and stay together as we are right now. The compromise to be made then, is to realize that the dynamic of the group is undoubtedly going to change as more and more of us become pregnant. This is not to say that it’s not going to be focused on infertility anymore, but just to recognize that we are now more a group of friends coming together to discuss our common bond and how we are dealing with things. This is a relief for me personally, since I really enjoy these women and look forward to meeting with them every two weeks. I love how we all have different perspectives on the same things and that we all bring something different to the table. I have learned so much from these women and am so thankful to have them as a part of my life. They are truly my friends and for that I am so grateful.

All in all, life is good and I feel very optimistic.

Last week Tuesday I received an e-mail from one of the co-founders (let’s call her Doris, just for ease of discussion) of my real life support group. She mentioned a few things that we may want to discuss at the next day’s meeting. One of the items that she wanted to discuss was this:

“Also also, I’ve noticed that lately there are a lot of pregnant (or recently pregnant) women in the group now — maybe someone would like to talk about how to make sure this doesn’t tip the balance of the group in one direction over the other?”

I should mention that Doris was the first one in our group to get pregnant (she conceived about a month after we started meeting) and had her son about a month and a half ago. Since we’ve started meeting, we’ve had three pregnancies, Doris and two others (who are both currently pregnant), and the remaining five women are not pregnant yet.

Anyway, when I showed up to the meeting, it ended up being only me and three other women, none of which were Doris and none of whom were pregnant. We spent nearly the entire time talking about what we thought Doris was trying to get at in her e-mail regarding the pregnant women in the group.

I remember at my second or third meeting, we were discussing how difficult it can be to be around pregnant women and how it can bring up feelings of jealousy, unfairness, “why me?” etc. Someone made a comment about how they just absolutely hated being around pregnant women and how it was impossible for her to happy for anyone who is pregnant. She had just finished her sentence and then modified her statement to say how she would be so happy for any of the women in the support group to get pregnant because we’ve all been there and struggled with infertility.

I thought that was a great opportunity to ask the group how they felt about what would happen when women did get pregnant. I had no idea if they had already discussed pregnancy and how it would affect the group or not, but I was curious. I also thought that it would be kind of important to make a decision before anyone in the group did get pregnant so that we could have an open and honest discussion about it without hurting anyone’s feelings. I knew from experience with my online buddy group that the dynamics of a group can definitely change when some of the members have what all of the rest want. Hearing pregnancy talk while you’re still trying to conceive is not an easy task for some women to deal with, especially as more and more women get pregnant while a few still struggle. It was enough of a struggle for a few women in my online buddy group that the group itself was no longer a safe haven for support anymore.

It was because of this that I asked “So what will happen when someone DOES get pregnant?” Doris (who already knew she was pregnant, though she hadn’t told us yet) said “once infertile, always infertile! Everyone is welcome to stay as long as they want to whether pregnant or not.” No one disagreed, though no one specifically agreed with her either, and that was that.

I thought it was kind of a hasty decision and one that I thought deserved more discussion and reflection, but no one, myself included, said anything about it. It was the next meeting where Doris revealed that she was nine weeks pregnant.

It is because of her declaration of “once infertile, always infertile” that I was shocked by her e-mail. First of all, I’m confused by “maybe someone would like to talk about how to make sure this doesn’t tip the balance of the group in one direction over the other?” Just what does this mean? Is she suggesting that the pregnant women should not be involved in the meetings anymore? Is she saying that the discussions should be focused only on issues that deal directly with infertility as it relates to conceiving a baby, as opposed to infertility as it relates to pregnancy?

I certainly hope not. We’ve had a lot of discussions regarding pregnancy after infertility within our group since March of this year. Is it something that I can relate to? No, I’ve never been pregnant, so I can’t relate. However, it is definitely a learning opportunity for me. I now know how three different women have felt about their pregnancies after infertility and it’s not necessarily what I would have expected. I know that I may not feel complete exuberance and joy after finding out that I’m pregnant. I may feel depressed, anxious, detached and even jealous of others who are pregnant regardless of the fact that I’m pregnant myself. I also have three local women that I can talk to about the choices that they made regarding testing and prenatal care options. Beyond the benefit to me, I do believe that those who are already pregnant still appreciate and need to attend the group.

On the flip side, I can also see how it could be painful and difficult for some within the group to have to deal with pregnant ladies showing up at an infertility support group meeting. To be subjected to having to hear about ultrasound appointments and nursery ideas when you want nothing more than to be in those shoes is without a doubt a tough thing to handle. And the original purpose of this group was to support women who were dealing with infertility as it relates to trying to conceive. I’m not naïve enough to think that once you get pregnant all of the struggles of infertility just fade into the background. I’m well aware that there are plenty of issues to deal with once pregnancy is achieved, but do supporting those issues take priority over those of the women still trying to conceive?

Looking at it from the pregnant woman’s point of view, (and I can only speak for how I think I would feel about it), I think I would feel very reserved in my willingness to share what was going on with my pregnancy for fear of upsetting, alienating, or causing pain to those who were not yet pregnant. I have come a long, long way in accepting and being happy for others who are pregnant, but I know that for a long period of time, hearing about anyone’s pregnancy was enough to ruin my week, and I would never want to cause that pain to anyone else.

So I can see things from both sides. There are definitely positives and negatives to both scenarios. For me personally, I would much, much rather that we all stay together as a group. I have gotten to know these women so well over the past 10 months and I have a special connection with them that I don’t have with any of my other friends. I wonder what is going on with them on a daily basis and find myself e-mailing them frequently to check in and see what’s going on with them. The thought of losing my biweekly meet up with some of them just because they are pregnant, or not being able to support them at our meetings just doesn’t seem fair.

Neither of the two pregnant women showed up to our meeting last week. I really, really hope that it wasn’t because of this e-mail. I am definitely interested in how the conversation goes regarding this topic next week. I hope it all turns out well.

Things aren’t too exciting here. Just busy taking my birth control pills and baby aspirins every night. I hate this part of the cycle because it’s so incredibly boring. You wait so long to actually START the IVF cycle, and then you have to endure three weeks of BCP’s. This cycle is even worse than last cycle since the lupron and BCP don’t overlap this time, so I won’t even start injections until the 29th.

Call me crazy, but it doesn’t seem like I’m getting any closer to having a baby unless I’m actually injecting drugs into my body. Sad, isn’t it? It’s probably even more pathetic because I actually really enjoy doing the injections now. It’s like I’m a part of some warped “cool kid club” that gets to shoot up every night.

I guess I’m not alone in this mentality though. Last week at my support group meeting, I found out that two of my buddies were going to be on the exact same schedule for IVF and I was going to be a week behind the two of them. While the three of us were discussing our upcoming cycles, our friend who is about 26 weeks pregnant with an IVF baby stated that she was so jealous that we were all cycling together and she wanted to cycle with us. It struck me as a crazy, odd comment, but now I’m beginning to understand it. If you’re not injecting, you’re obviously not having fun, right? I’m turning into some sort of sick needle sticking addict, I fear. But I digress.

Obviously the 29th cannot get here soon enough, though I do think that the time will fly by quickly. My job will be changing a bit in the coming weeks due to someone quitting, and I’m sure that will keep me busy. Also, my husband may be getting a new job/promotion as a result of this same person quitting, so that’s a thrilling prospect as well.

All in all, things are going well. We’re just doing what we seem to be doing a lot of lately…waiting.

So last Tuesday we got up bright and early to go to our consultation with the new clinic.  We were really early, so we had some lunch and then went to the mall for a bit before heading over to the clinic.  We registered with the receptionist and were taken back within a few minutes.  The nurse that took us back took my weight and blood pressure and then we met with the RE.  As usual, he started with the whole medical history bit, and went through my records and entered all of my test results into his system.  After that, he went through all of the basic causes of infertility and crossed them off one by one and ultimately came up with the conclusion that we have unexplained infertility (duh).  The only possible explanation that he gave us for our difficulties in conceiving was that that it is possible that Mark may have developed antisperm antibodies as a result of a hernia repair surgery that he had last year.  If that were the case, it would lead to fertilization problems, which could explain why we’re not pregnant yet. 

 

Once he officially gave us his diagnosis, he said that he guessed that we were ready to move on to IVF since most people wouldn’t travel 4+ hours for clomid and IUI’s.  BINGO!  At his clinic, they do ICSI for 90% to 95% of their IVF cycles, and he would recommend that for us too because of the possibility of antisperm antibodies and ICSI would bypass the entire fertilization issue.

 

He seems to think that IVF will do the trick for us, and of course we are hoping that he’s right.  He said that I have responded well to the oral meds in the past and that bodes well for how I will respond to the injectables.  He also thought that we should be able to participate in the shared risk program which will allow us to do three fresh IVF cycles along with any associated frozen cycles for one fixed cost.  The nice part about this particular program is that meds are included in the package price which is a HUGE cost savings.  Comparing my previous clinic’s shared risk program to this new one, we will save somewhere between $6,500 and $17,500 depending on how many tries it takes us to get pregnant. 

 

So before we can move on, he said that I would l need to have another sonohysterogram/mock transfer.  This will be done so that he can determine the curvature of my cervix so that inserting the catheter for the embryo transfer is as easy as possible, and also to determine the shape of my uterus so that he can put the embryos in the “sweet spot” where they will have the best chance to implant.  Mark and I also both had to have blood tests for HIV, Hepatitis, etc, which we did on Thursday. 

 

All that’s left now is to have a phone meeting with the financial advisor and then take the IVF patient education class.  And unfortunately, that seems to be where we’ve hit some stumbling blocks.  He said that he would have the financial coordinator (who also seems to be the person who determines if we can participate in the shared risk program) call us last Wednesday to go over everything.  Well, today is Monday, and we still have not heard from her.  I left her a voicemail and also sent her an e-mail, and still no response.  My mock transfer is scheduled for Thursday and I need to know if we are accepted into the shared risk program before then.  If for some reason we cannot be a part of the shared risk program, then we will likely not go forward with this particular clinic due to the distance.  There is no sense in heading down there for a mock transfer if we won’t be pursuing treatment with them.  So at this point I am beyond frustrated with the lack of communication.

 

Additionally, we need to attend a patient education class before we can start IVF.  It just so happened that they were doing one of these classes on the very same day that we were there for our consult.  We actually asked if we could stay and do it then since it would save us a trip, but the receptionist insisted that we must have all of our pre-testing and financial appointment completed before we can take the class.  We had asked Dr. C if there was any way that we could do both the SHG/mock transfer and the class on the same day, and he said that it would probably be doable.  Well when I called to make my SHG appointment, the receptionist told me that the next class wasn’t until late, late August.  What?!?  Do they only do these classes once a month?  If we had to wait until late August before we could take the class, we would miss a whole other cycle, which is certainly not what we want at this point.

 

So I called on Friday afternoon to see if there was any way that we could pay extra to have a special class just for us.  If not, could we start the birth control pills BEFORE we took the class since you don’t really need a whole lot of education to pop a BCP.  Either of those two options would work out just fine for us (of course we’re hoping that somehow we can arrange a special class just for us on Thursday, which would save us another trip down there), but we still have not heard anything back yet.

 

I’m frustrated because when I initially contacted this clinic, I had asked about doing treatment from out of state.  The coordinator had responded that they just had a client from Wisconsin get pregnant from treatment there the previous week, which made it seem like they were experienced in dealing with patients from out of state and that perhaps they were accommodating to their needs.  So far I have not noticed that to be true, and my frustration with their lack of response is certainly growing with each passing hour with no return phone call.

 

In my heart, I feel like this is the clinic that we need to be at and we will get pregnant from this.  But at this moment, I am so upset and frustrated, I just don’t even know what to do with myself.  I know that frustration is the last thing that I need when we’re going to be starting IVF, so I really hope that the communication improves from here on out.  I have no idea what we will do if it doesn’t.

 

In more positive news, a woman in my real life support group who has been undergoing IUI’s for over a year (her husband is sterile due to cancer treatments) finally got her BFP.  It was so thrilling to hear that it finally worked for her.  I cannot imagine taking 12.5 mg of Femara and doing two IUI’s every month for 15 months.  The stress and emotion of 5 IUI’s was nearly too much for me. 

 

Additionally, two women from my online buddy group are also pregnant, one of which was just about to start IVF for severe male factor infertility.  She thought that the only way they could get pregnant was IVF with ICSI and somehow they got a miracle BFP.  It is exciting to know that it is happening for other women.  On one hand it makes me think that if it can happen for them, then it can happen for me.  On the other hand, of course, it makes me wonder how come they can get pregnant with presumably such major issue, but we can’t with presumably minor or non-existent issues.  It’s a frustrating mixed bag of emotions.  But I am very truly happy for all of them.  I’m just wishing that our time comes soon too.

Originally posted March 20, 2008

Holy buckets, it has been a long time since I updated this! Part of the reason is that I was away on vacation in Arizona for a week being completely distracted from TTC. Another part of the reason is that I don’t feel like I need to blog as an outlet as much as I did before. I’m not sure what’s changing, but something’s different. In fact, not a single tear was shed when I realized that last cycle was a bust. That says a lot about me.

Perhaps it’s the new support group that I’m a part of. We’re just a group or women who are struggling with infertility who get together every couple of weeks to talk. It is very unstructured, and we just discuss whatever is on our minds. Most of the women there have been at this a lot longer than I have (2 to 3 years), but there is one woman who was at the same time period of trying to conceive as me. Happily for her, she is now 10 weeks pregnant, so she gives me hope that it will happen for me too.

Our last meeting was largely focused on adoption, since it seems a few of the women are turning towards that now. A special guest was invited to share her experience with her adoption process so far. It is amazing to hear all of the details and heartaches of adopting. For certain it is no easier than struggling with trying to conceive, in fact in many ways it seems so much more frustrating.

While I am certainly open to adoption, I don’t think that Mark is at this point, and quite honestly, it’s something that scares me to death. It’s not the fact that I would be giving up on the dream of having my own biological children; I think I can accept that. As one woman in my support group said “It doesn’t matter where your children come from. What matters is that you’re a family.” And that I can handle. What I can’t handle is the uncertainty of it all. The paperwork, the red tape, the waiting, the hoping, the disappointment, the not knowing when your dream might come true. Many of those same feelings are true to trying to conceive, but at least you are somewhat in control of what happens. Trying to conceive is all up to my husband and I, and if things don’t work out, it’s easy to just blame our bodies. In adoption, things that go wrong are all controlled by someone or something. I myself would have no control whatsoever of the process and that would leave me feeling helpless.

So while we as a couple are not even ready to seriously think about adoption, it was still so great to hear from someone who’s been there, in case it’s something that we need to consider in the future. And it helped me to think of things a little differently, from a new perspective.

Perhaps the change is because deep down inside I really feel like we’re going to be able to conceive our own biological child. Again, I can’t say why I feel this way, or what happened to make me feel this way, but as I was sitting at the support group meeting last week, I realized that I do, in fact, believe that it will happen for us. I’m baffled as to why I’m so convinced that it will happen, especially considering that I’m less than 7 weeks removed from finding out that I have a diminished ovarian reserve. But I won’t question this feeling. It’s a good feeling to have, so I’m going to cling to it until I have a very good reason to stop believing it. I believe that positive thoughts are paramount in dealing with this, and at this point my thoughts are all that I can control, so that’s what I’m going to do.

Our History

Dec 2006 - Started trying to conceive
Summer 2007 - Semen analysis (great), progesterone test (normal)
Dec 2007 - SHG normal
Jan 2008 - 1st RE appointment
Feb - Mar 2008 - Diagnosed with elevated FSH levels, 2 rounds of IUI with 5mg of Femara
Apr - Jun 2008 - Seeing a new RE. 3 rounds of IUI with 12.5mg of Femara, all busts. HSG normal
July 2008 - Moving on to IVF at a new clinic
Aug/Sep 2008 - 1st IVF cycle - cancelled due to poor response
Nov/Dec 2008 - Retry IVF, transferred one blast and one morula, negative beta
Feb/Mar 2009 - 2nd IVF cycle - Antagonist protocol
May 2009 - 3rd and final attempt at IVF - Antagonist protocol
Feb 18th, 2010 - our One Small Wish comes true: Nina Adele is born.

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