Yesterday I experienced something brand spanking new to me…an abdominal ultrasound.

Yes, the bleeding/spotting is still a part of my life. I naively thought I may have beaten it after going spot free from Friday through Monday, but woke up Tuesday morning to more red blood. Not a whole bunch, but red and I had mild cramps too, so I decided to call the doctor and see if I could get in. I walked into the u/s room and the tech (the one I hadn’t met before) told me to have a seat on the table. What? Shouldn’t I go and change first? I thought maybe she was just going to go over my history first or something, then send me off to the bathroom to empty my bladder and change into my sheet. Nope. She says “let’s try and abdominal u/s first and see if we can figure it out without doing an internal.” Huh? It was like a foreign language to me.

So she gave a towel to tuck into my pants, squirted the jelly on my belly and off we went. And you could see our baby without having an electrical device shoved up my hoo-ha! Crazy! Who knew it was even possible? Actually, I’m guessing most fertiles don’t know that an internal u/s device even exists, so I suppose I’m probably in the minority here. Anyway, we could see the baby and it’s heartbeat nice and strong in the upper 170’s as usual. She started moving around looking for the bleeds, but the picture wasn’t too great, so she decided to switch to the internal anyway, which was fine by me. Crazy as it sounds, I actually prefer it…it gives a much clearer picture when the baby is so small and you can see a lot more detail. Before she switched to the internal wand, she took a photo of the baby’s profile and it’s pretty grainy and undefined. I’m guessing that it probably would have been better had my bladder been fuller, but I wasn’t expecting an abdominal u/s and had just gone to the bathroom before we left for the doctor’s office.

She had me change, she switched over to the wand and there was the baby again. She showed me my cervix and the placenta, which was interesting as the other tech had never pointed those things out to me. She couldn’t find any new bleeds, which was a relief and said that as the baby grows the one bleed at the top of my uterus will likely just get squished and will resolve itself. The other one was a bit smaller, but still there. So no new news, just the same old, same old.

She asked if we’d talked to any of the doctors about things yet and I explained how we were supposed to but then there was the dental emergency and the other doctor was running an hour behind because of it. So she offered to get one of the doctors and have them come in to talk to me.

Guess who showed up? Yup. Dr. Ass Clown.

I know, I know. I promised that once I finally did get pregnant that I would find myself a new OB/GYN, but I never really researched it before I got pregnant and then once I was, I wasn’t sure how well a brand new doctor would feel about me sending in orders from my RE for my first couple of scans. So I stuck with Dr. Ass Clown’s practice. And for as much as I despise Dr. Ass Clown, I’m really digging everyone else at the practice. I am so thankful for how willing they are to get me in with no questions asked when I’m bleeding and worried. I mentioned this to the u/s tech and she said that she’s really impressed with the practice in that respect because a lot of practices are not like that. She said they are always willing to see someone if they feel uncomfortable with things, even if it’s just to listen to the heartbeat real quick. And that’s something that is invaluable to me as an infertility patient. As such, it’s not something that I’m willing to give up at this point. I love that they are so caring and understanding and make me a priority.

But then there’s Dr. Ass Clown. I told my husband as we were walking to our car that every time I see him I hate him more and more. Reason being? He kind of plays down my concerns, makes me feel like a hypochondriac for asking questions and doesn’t ever really provide any real information. I asked him a few simple questions yesterday (are these internal bleeds sub chronic hemotomas or something else? Do the bleeds put me at a higher risk for something going wrong, like a placental abruption? Is there anything that I’m doing that I shouldn’t be doing or is something I’m doing causing this?) and he didn’t really give me any answers at all. He just tends to talk around the subject and say things that will give you the warm fuzzies. Which, I’m sure, some patients like. I, however, do not. I’m an info hound. I want to know the details, and I want to know what I’m dealing with, not just that “25% of women bleed during pregnancy.” If you don’t know the answer, then tell me you don’t know the answer, don’t just talk around the subject. Ugh, I’m getting anxious and upset just writing about it, so I’m going to stop.

Bottom line is that I really feel like I’d like to get farther along in this pregnancy before switching to another OB or midwife. In the meantime I will try to schedule my appointments with the three other OB’s there in hopes of just completely avoiding Dr. Ass Clown until I make some decisions on where our long term care will be.

So yesterday’s appointment yielded no new internal bleeds, a happily beating heart and another few days of reassurance. I’m really hoping that I can make it until next Tuesday without any serious bleeding incidents. It would be great to keep the ultrasounds to only one a week. :o)

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