I promised further details on Tuesday, but have since failed to provide them.

2:50 – I hear my boss’ cell phone ring. Remember how I mentioned that we both had our betas pretty much at the same time on Tuesday? Well she shuts the door to take the phone call. I assume that it’s our OB/GYN’s office calling with her beta results since they get all their lab work back around 2:30

3:08 – I send an e-mail to my husband letting him know how nervous the waiting is making me. He tries unsuccessfully to calm me down.

3:38 – I send another e-mail to my husband asking if they’ve called him with the news (In the past, I’ve had them call Mark instead of me because I was too afraid to get bad news at work). I told him that if they HAD called him and it was bad news, I didn’t want him to keep it from me, I just want to know what’s going on. He says he’s heard nothing.

3:50 – I call my OB/GYN’s office to make sure that they’ve faxed the results over to my clinic. I talk to the lady in the lab and she say she faxed them shortly before 3, so they should definitely have them. I didn’t have the balls to just ask her directly what the results were.

3:50 – 4:40 – Sit at my desk trying to work, but not getting a damn thing done.

4:45 – Mark stops by my desk and asks if I’ve heard anything. Ummmm….no. Don’t you think if they had called I would have told you immediately? He offers to call the clinic to see what’s going on and I give him the contact info.

4:47 – I give up pretending to work and go home because I can’t take the stress and pressure anymore. I lay on the couch moping about what could have been because I’m absolutely convinced it’s bad news.

5:00 – Mark arrives home and finds me on the couch. He asks what’s wrong and I tell him I’m pouting and moping. He asks why I’m not happy and I ask him why in the world I should be happy. He responds with “Because we’re having a baby!” Holy cow. Honestly, the relief that I felt when he told me my beta was perfect was unlike any I’ve ever experience before.

He pulled out his sheet of notes with all of the details on it and shared it with me.

revised notes

The part that I’ve cropped out at the bottom has a list of names on it. They were suggestions from our clinic of names that we could name our baby. The list included our RE’s last name, which I think would make an absolutely adorable little boy’s name, our nurse’s first name, and also a variation on her last name, which would also make a cute boy’s or girl’s name. The list made me laugh and also made me feel good. It made me feel like this was as big of a victory for them as it was for us, which meant a lot to me. It also made me laugh that Mark wrote down the list…and that he wrote down my name at the top of the notes too. Like he might later be confused whose beta results he was writing down.

As you can see on the notes, they wanted me to have my first ultrasound in two to two-and-a-half weeks. I’m as about impatient as they come, so of course I went for two weeks and our first ultrasound will be on June 29th at my local OB/GYN. I will be six weeks and four days then, so we should be able to see the heartbeat then (fingers crossed). We have another ultrasound scheduled two weeks after that as well, at which point we would be “released” from our RE, which is kind of a silly term since we aren’t even seeing them at all from here on out.

Anyway, there’s the recap for you. I’ve been able to just relax and enjoy myself the past couple of days, which has been really nice.

Oh, and for those who have been wondering, my boss hasn’t asked anything yet. I’m not sure if she will or not, but Mark and I decided that it would be OK to tell her if she does ask. I’m not exactly thrilled about having her be the first non-infertile to find out, but it’s also not the end of the world either. I know she’s trustworthy (as far as I know, she’s kept our yearlong “we’re starting fertility treatments” statement a secret) and like I said before, it could help my non-professional relationship with her.

So there’s my life in a nutshell. Just hanging in there and trying to enjoy every moment.

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