So you may or may not have heard about how Manny Ramirez was busted for using a substance banned by major league baseball. My husband sent me a link to an article that was very vague, to say the least, regarding the whole situation. The short version is that he was taking a drug (which was not a steroid) for a “personal health issue” which his doctor thought would not fall under the MLB’s banned substances policy. Ok, fine. Shit happens, you take some meds and in the end you find out that it wasn’t something you should have been taking. Interesting as far as baseball is concerned. Not to interesting to my life in general.

So last night while we were out with a big group of friends at BW3’s, I asked my husband if there was any news on what drug he had actually taken. To my surprise, he turned to me and in a quiet voice says “I guess it was a FERTILITY drug.” (Side note here, if turning to your wife and lowering your voice to say “fertility drug” doesn’t arouse suspicion from a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re dealing with infertility, I don’t know what would. Fortunately everyone else appeared to be otherwise occupied, so hopefully it went unnoticed.) Anyway, I let it drop at that, because I have no control over my mouth and would have probably started demonstrating my vast knowledge of fertility drugs if I had pursued the topic any further.

On our way home, I questioned him further on the topic, and he said that Manny had been using Clomid. Interesting. First time I’d ever heard of a man using Clomid, but whatever. In the back of my mind, I kept wondering what in the world Clomid could do to enhance athletic performance, so I Googled Manny Ramirez this morning to get further details.

Turns out that it wasn’t Clomid, it was HCG. And as any good infertile knows, HCG is the hormone that our bodies will produce when we finally get pregnant. So now I’m stumped. Why in the world would a MAN want to inject himself with the PREGNANCY HORMONE? Time to consult Dr. Google once again. Dr. Google (and in turn, my good friend Wikipedia) explains that when you take anabolic steroids your body shuts down its own production of testosterone and that HCG injections can restore testosterone production and yadda, yadda, yadda.

OK, so the science behind it all makes sense when you think about it, but the fact of the matter is that he’s using a substance derived from the URINE OF PREGNANT WOMEN to make him more manly. Funny? I think so.

Oh, and did I mention that when my pharmacy shipped my big box of meds for our upcoming cycle she mentioned that she had to send me two Ovidrels instead of one Novarel because there’s a NATIONWIDE SHORTAGE of Novarel?

So come on Manny. Let’s leave the HCG to those who really need it.