I have this box that I try to keep stocked with some generic cards for situations when I need a card, but don’t have the time or the desire to go out and buy one. I’ve got birthdays, weddings, babies, “thinking of you,” and sympathy cards all covered. It saddens me to realize that lately I’ve been fishing around in there for sympathy and “thinking of you” cards more than anything else, and those cards were sent mostly for miscarriages or other infertility related issues.

This morning I had to reach inside the box yet again and take out yet another sympathy card for my friend who found out a few weeks ago that she was pregnant naturally after four years of trying. She had her first u/s yesterday and while the baby should have measured 9 weeks, it was only measuring 7 and there was no heartbeat. My heart aches for her as this is the second miscarriage that she’s gone though in the past four years that they’ve been struggling with infertility. I know that in her heart she really felt like this baby would be a take home baby. She commented frequently on how this pregnancy was very different from her first and how it was reassuring to her that everything would turn out ok.

Her entire situation is such a phenomenal reminder of miracle and fragility of life. Of the amazing highs and lows of this struggle. Of the complete randomness and unfairness of it all.

It’s all just one big crapshoot, isn’t it?